Dos and Don’ts of Fresh Air Wees

You may be an experienced day hiker who embraces the idea of finding a good tree to wee behind (Lucy). You may, like me, rather wait until you’re desperate in case a solid loo (with walls and a flush) opportunity comes along. Either way, there are some tips we would like to pass on which may come in helpful.

 

  • Check the ground for nettles, brambles and/ or thistles before committing to your spot
  • Don’t pee uphill or it will go all over your shoes and possibly the bottom of your trousers
  • Mainly for the men: Don’t just drop your trousers on the path and hope for the best, unless the situation is dire. You may be arrested.
  • If using tissues (and this is a contentious issue in itself) be sure to cover with leaves. Littering is not cool.
  • For the anxious fresh air weeer, I find choosing a spot near running water or, failing that, imagining a cascading waterfall can be very helpful to get things moving along.
  • Use easy-access walking attire or you will have lost your friends at the next turnoff.
  • Always do a 360 check. There may be a good covering of bushes in one direction but if you look the other way, there could be a road, a house or even a CCTV camera.
  • If you do like to find a proper toilet, the FLUSH app is highly recommended. It uses your location to find all the public conveniences in your vicinity. You do need signal though. And it can be frustrating if you do a 2 mile detour only to find the public loos are closed.
  • If you go into a pub, you can a) just ask to use the loos, b) take the opportunity to get a drink or c) pretend to be talking loudly on the phone to a friend you’re meeting (yeah, we’ve just arrived – where are you sitting? I can’t see you… ) and then dive into the toilets when no one is looking.
  • If you enjoy a beer in the pub and then use the lovely, clean and trendily furnished toilets, be aware that you will need to find a hedge, back alley or another pub before you get back to the station

by Emily Morrison

I live in a lovely corner of South East London. I have a keen interest in travel - so much so that as well as travelling as much as possible myself, I have forged a career out of helping other people do so. In my spare time I sing in a choir and go on lots of walking adventures. Sometimes I combine the singing with the walking, much to my friends' distress.

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